Happy Valentine's Day

I really really hope everyone enjoys this very special day. I found great pictures that I hope will make you smile a bit if you're feeling gloomy. Im not doing anything special today...just pondering and enjoy a free guilt weekend, eating hersheys kisses and drinking hot cocoa. I had a pink cupcake with pink sugar yesterday, too bad I ate it! OK. No more words, I feel like a chatterbox!

"Our bodies know they belong;

it is our minds that

make our lives so homeless"

-John O' Donohoue

Yep. I dont belong anywhere. There I was all excited and full of energy to start. Then, she says "Just watch until I figure something out", "ok" I answered in small voice that almost sounded as a whisper. After one freaking hour... Im still there. Waiting. Feeling horribly humiliated and emberrased. Failure. Thats what I am. I dont belong anywhere. Just when I was ready to start again. Crack! somebody stomps on my intentions. No... I thought I belonged...I thought I was part of something... I thought I found my place. Wake up! my mind says, "you never belonged anywhere! never! remember sixth grade? remember first grade? Oh~! remember eveyrone that broke you heart! Dont repeat the same story again!" And here I am. Tears falling down my cheeks. Thinking how did the fudge did I agree to do this?! Im not coming back. I cant take it. Why does every time I tried to be part of something I get rrejected? Why do I feel rejected? Why does the story keep reapeting again and again?! Why do I feel like a complete failure?!

Just around the corner

Everything is just around the corner. This week Im pretty busy and basically just enjoying life. I have lots of pretty big things comming and hope they all go alright and as planned, dont want big surprises to pop out of nowhere! This is basically all Im writing today... Everything's around the corner, but not my inspiration. I dont know where it all went.

It's always way too early to quit

Things happen. Why do they happen? I do not know.

One thing I know...iwillbedancingonschoolstageonacoupleofweeks! O.K here's the thing...Im like the shyiest person in the whole wide world, so that means, well you all get the picture. Dont ask me how it happened or why im dancing. It just did. Im not going to back off and quit. I might be shy, but Im not a quitter! Yes, Im not a quitter. I have no reason to quit, no reason to do that to myself. Life is short, and Im going to enjoy it. It might be the most embarrasing memory I will have,but someday I will wake up and laugh about it. Someday hopefully.

I have noticed this blog is very boring...Weell, its not like people read this. I basically made this so that I can write stuff for myself. But...since I like photography...I want change. Im getting a camera in about a month! Yes, a month. Sad, I wish I could have it my little picky fingers right know,but cant do anything to change my destiny! Anyways, here are more facts about My-future-camera:


*I'ts a gift from my sister

*It's the best thing that has happened to me since the white wedges I bougth last summer

*It's not small... in fact its kind of big...Big stand fo beautiful

*It uses batteries, not chargeable

*It's like from 2004 or 2000 something...but you know numbers dont matter

*It is gray like the sky before it wakes up

Why

am I never enough? Why is there more to it? Why am I the only one? Why does nobody care? Why Im not right for it? Why do I they feel this way? Why do I feel this way? Why is life never pretty pink? Why cant I change? Why cant I be air? Why?

Sunday means Church

Yes, Sunday means Church. I have taken a decision, to try to get a closer look of God. Nobody probably knows this, but I have been avoiding church for a long time now. I can remember when I was eight years old and waking up every sunday with a huge smile on face, because I then knew that Sunday meant Church. I loved waking up every sunday morning, getting my scriptures ready, wearing mmy favorite red dress to church. I felt confort, relaxation, and peace; I felt a connection with God. I loved staying after the sacrament to sing with the other kids, to talk with my friends, to run on the endless hallways of that saint place I called "Church". I missed that, yes I do miss that. In fact I want to get that feeling back, I want my soul in peace. From now on Im planning on going to church every sunday && staying after. Im planning on praying, going to mutual [whenever I can], and doing service. I want to be happy, not later, nooow. I know that I can find happyness by keeping God's commandments and doing service, because you truly feel joy and happyness when you do something for someone else, I know I do.This is a great picture I found on the internet, and Its a picture of the mormon Salt Lake City Temple in Utah. It is one of the most holy places I've been to and it just transmits joy and happyness, Dont you think??